The Only One For Me
by creaatingmadness
Summary: OneShot. 6 years after New Moon, Bella is starting at Dartmouth as a History professor. What happens when a bronze haired and golden eyed vampire shows up in her class. E/B. M. Lemons


OneShot. 6 years after New Moon, Bella is starting at Dartmouth as a history professor. What happens when a bronze haired and golden eyed vampire shows up in her class. E/B. M.

_"I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."_

_My knees must have started to shake, because the trees were suddenly wobbling. I could hear the blood pounding faster than normal behind my ears. His voice sounded farther away._

_He smiled gently. "Don't worry. You're human, your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."_

_"And your memories?" I asked. It sounded like there was something stuck in my throat, like I was choking._

_"Well" he hesitated for a short second, "I won't forget. But my kind, we're very easily distracted." He smiled; the smile was tranquil and it did not touch his eyes._

_He took a step away from me. "That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."_

_The plural caught my attention. That surprised me; I would have thought I was beyond noticing anything._

_"Alice isn't coming back," I realized. I don't know how he heard me the words made no sound, but he seemed to understand._

_He shook his head slowly, always watching my face._

_"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."_

_"Alice is gone?" My voice was blank with disbelief._

_"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."_

_I was dizzy; it was hard to concentrate. His words swirled around in my head, and I heard the doctor at the hospital in Phoenix, last spring, as he showed me the X-rays. You can see it's a clean break, his finger traced along the picture of my severed bone. That's good. It will heal more easily, more quickly._

_I tried to breathe normally. I needed to concentrate, to find a way out of this nightmare._

_"Goodbye, Bella," he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice._

_"Wait!" I choked out the word, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs to carry me forward._

_I thought he was reaching for me, too. But his cold hands locked around my wrists and pinned them to my sides. He leaned down and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for the briefest instant. My eyes closed._

_"Take care of yourself," he breathed, cool against my skin._

* * *

I woke up with a start, sweating. Even six years on, that memory still haunted my dreams. For all intents and purposes, I was over Edward. I could say his name, I could reflect on our time together without crying, or feeling anguished. Nevertheless, I still felt hurt and angry about how he left. I have no memory of the first 6 months after he said those words in the woods. Jake says I was essentially a walking zombie. Charlie…he opened up to me just after graduation about how much it hurt him, seeing me that way. He said he felt like he'd failed me as a parent and was considering sending me back to Renee purely because he didn't know how to deal with me. If it wasn't for Jake…he'd been a bright ray of sunshine, drawing me out of the darkness and into his light. I'd been so heartbroken then; I couldn't even say Edward's name. I woke up screaming for him to come back to me. It helped when Jake started sleeping over. The nightmares stopped after a few months of his company.

Jake had such a positive outlook on life. Something that even now, I was deeply jealous of. Though I soon realised his feelings for me surpassed friendship, I could never return them, and Jake eventually stopped trying, accepting the friendship for what it was. It only made us closer. About a year after Edward left, Jake had started to shut me out, and I felt like everything was collapsing in on itself again. If it wasn't for Paul…I'd tried to punch him in the face, and he'd looked at me with stone cold fury in his eyes. Sam had pulled him backwards, but it wasn't quick enough, he phased right in front of me. They had to tell me the truth then. About Jake.

If it wasn't for the wolves, I'd have been dead long ago. My hand ran over the long pink scar that run up my left arm. It was about 5 inches long and had faded to a light pink. Victoria had come for me in the middle of night. I had never been so thankful for Charlie's fishing habits. He was out of town, fishing with Billy. Luckily, the wolves had noticed a vampire scent the week before and had been patrolling the area by my house anyway. I guess I was lucky she wanted to torture me first, otherwise they wouldn't have got there in time. She had broken my left arm in 5 places and was moving to the right when Jake and Embry burst through my window. She let me go, I guess in shock, and ran. They caught her on the border of La Push, but not before she got to Harry Clearwater. His death was a huge blow, and I couldn't help but feel partly responsbile. I felt nothing but satisfaction when Jake related her demise to me.

When I lay in the hospital, after, I was fuelled by anger for Edward. _How dare he? _How dare he leave me behind unprotected, after killing a vampire's mate. Did he truly believe she would never come for me? Over time my anger dulled into a cold resentment. I couldn't really blame him for not loving me anymore. After all, he said it himself, he didn't want me. That being said, he put Charlie and me at risk by cutting all ties, and that was unforgivable, not to mention Harry's death. After the attack, I'd spent the majority of my time on the reservation. I started dating Paul, to everybody's surprise except his. He was so cocky. Our relationship was fiery and intense, but also fun and surprisingly easy. I came into it so inexperienced and shy, but Paul soon changed that. After about 5 months it burnt itself out, and we parted as friends. We'd had the occasional hook up in the years since, though around 8 months ago Paul imprinted on a girl called Anna. She was beautiful, and charming, and I felt nothing but happiness for them.

I'd dated through college, though nothing ever seemed to last longer than 6 months. Part of me wondered if that was Edward's fault, because no matter how attractive, kind, or amazing the men I dated were, they never came close to him, nor did my feelings for them ever compare to how I felt for Edward. I sighed, pulling myself out of bed.

I stretched my arms above my head, wincing slightly at the soreness in my stomach. Stupid Erica and those 'booty and abs' classes she made us take at the gym. She only made us do them because she had a huge crush on the instructor. Not that the classes didn't benefit me. I'd developed lean muscles throughout my body and my stomach was tight and toned. I threw off my Victoria Secret pyjamas and jumped in the shower, leaning my head back as the hot water thrummed against my scalp. I washed my hair, picking my strawberry scented shampoo. After lingering under the water for over 10 minutes, I managed to drag myself out, wrapping myself in a large white fluffy towel. I walked out my room and headed down the hall to the kitchen.

Today was my first day teaching at Dartmouth. I was nervous, but only slightly. I'd loved doing history in college, and partly due to Jake's influence, had developed a serious passion for Native American history. Nobody on the reservation was surprised when I applied for a PhD, having had to endure my incessant questions and read the multiple essays I gave them for review. Luckily, during my PhD I had to work as a teaching assistant, and even teach on my own in some cases. The experience would certainly help me now. Over the years since finishing college, I'd published several works, and was in the process of writing a book on early Native American and American Settler relations, focusing on war practises. I'd also been super lucky and was called to consult on a series of video games a couple of months ago, which were set in the same period. The pay-out had been huge, and I'd been able to buy a new car. It was certainly a big change, moving this far away from Charlie, and from Jake, but I felt like I needed to step out into the world and do my own thing. Luckily, I'd made fast friends with Erica, after ending up next to each other in the hairdressers. I'd been in Hanover now for 6 months and she had quickly become my best friend.

I turned on the coffee machine, smiling slightly as the smell of coffee wafted towards me. I'd bought this one bedroom flat around 2 months ago, and the coffee machine was a house warming present from Charlie and Sue. They'd started dating last year, having come together in their grief over Harry. I sipped my coffee as I walked back into the bedroom and set it down on my chest of drawers. I through on a VS matching red and black underwear set and then dressed in my black slacks and white v neck sweater. Erica worked at Victoria Secret as an accountant, and I shamelessly utilised her staff discount. I slipped on my comfy heels and finished my coffee, heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Feeling my hair was dry enough to blow dry, I plugged in the dryer and styled my hair into slight waves. When I finished, I quickly applied some mascara and a little blush to my pale cheeks. I studied myself in the mirror. Over the past 6 years I'd filled out a lot. My figure had become curvier, as my breasts had grown and sessions at the gym had toned my legs and my butt making it perky and round. My lips were slightly pouty and my hair, even in waves, reached the small of my back. I smiled at myself. I felt sexy and confident. My phone rang then and I picked it up,

"Hello" I said, balancing the phone between my ear and shoulder as I walked to grab my bag from my desk. I'd packed in the night before with my laptop, chargers and some granola bars.

"How are you feeling for your first day?" Jake's voice boomed excitedly from the receiver.

I laughed, "Not too bad, I'm actually just about to leave."

"Well I'm sure you'll do great, just don't trip in front of them." He paused, "In fact Bells, maybe try to avoid walking in front of them at all."

I let out a sound of indignation and he chuckled.

"I'll have you know I only tripped once yesterday Jacob Black" I replied, walking through to the kitchen and grabbing my keys.

"Sure sure." Jake said, still chuckling. My phone beeped then, incoming call from Erica.

"Oh Jake, Erica's calling, can I call you back later?" I said, walking out the front door and locking it behind me.

"Sure Bells, let me know how it goes! I'm rooting for you." He said.

I smiled, "I will, speak later Jake, love you."

"Love you too Bells." He replied. I walked down the stairs of my apartment building and headed outside. I'd call Erica from the car. I scanned my keys into the resident car park and walked to my space, smiling when I saw my car. It was an Aston Martin Vanquish, and the literal light of my life. Thank you Ubisoft, I thought, jumping into the car. I waited a moment for the Bluetooth to connect and then called Erica.

"Happy first day bitch." She answered.

"Hello to you too." I replied, smiling.

"How are you feeling? Have you met the other professors yet? Are any of them hot?" She asked excitedly.

"Haha, I'm on my way in now so I have no idea! Although I'd imagine there's rules about that sort of thing." I said in response.

"Oh rules schmules. What if one of your students is hot? I mean you're only a few years older than them." I could imagine her winking at me and laughed loudly.

"There's definitely rules against that E." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Are we still on for that HIIT class later? Liam is teaching it!" Erica said gleefully.

I groaned, "Yes okay, although I don't know why you don't just ask him out, there's no way he'd say no to you." Erica was a serious bombshell. She had bright blue eyes, curly blonde hair that fell to her shoulders and had the body of a supermodel.

"The point is not for me to ask _him_ out Bella!" She said, exasperated, "He needs to ask me out." I rolled my eyes again.

"I really don't see why he has to ask you out, but whatever." I pulled up to the college and felt anticipation coil in my stomach. "Ugh now I'm nervous." I admitted.

"Don't be silly Bella, you'll do amazing." She replied. "Now go in there you sexy bitch and bore them to death with your history knowledge."

"Says the accountant!" I replied snarkily.

"Bite me." Erica said laughing. We said goodbye and I parked in my allocated spot, feeling my palms sweat a little with nerves. It was going to be just fine. It would just take a second to get used to it. I got out the car and walked up to the history department building. I would have a few hours to get settled into my office and go over my lecture plans for the day. Luckily, I was only teaching two classes, one at 11, and one at 3, and I'd spent last week figuring out my lectures for the first two weeks, so I'd have time to get used to everything.

"Good Morning." A blonde woman said to me as I walked into the reception.

"Morning, I'm Dr. Bella Swan, the new History professor." I said smiling.

"Sure, I was expecting you. Here's your key cards. This one is for the main doors on campus." She said holding up a white card with my face on it, "This one is for your office only." She handed me a small black fob. "And then this one is for staff areas, such as the staff rooms, staff toilets etc." The final fob was bright blue.

"Thank you." I said gratefully, grabbing the keys.

"Do you know where everything is?" I nodded, telling her I had. I'd been on several tours around the site before deciding to take the job at Dartmouth, so I knew my way around. "Great, if you need anything just come and find me, my name is Emma by the way."

I smiled at her, "Thanks Emma, see you later." I headed to the lift and took it up to the third floor, where my office was placed. The layout of the floor was essentially a long hallway, with multiple doors on either side containing individual offices. At the moment the corridor was deserted, but I supposed that at 9am, most people either hadn't come in yet, or were already in, and or teaching. I opened my door with the black fob and walked in. The room was very simply decorated. There was a window directly opposite the door, that looked out on the green common between the buildings and a wooden desk sat demurely facing the door. It was equipped with a large desktop computer, keyboard, and a metal pot, assumingly for pens. In front of the desk were two red armchairs, and behind it, a large and comfy looking black office chair. In the left corner of the room there was a small sofa, next to another red armchair. Aligning the back wall, either side of the window were large bookcases. Empty, for the moment. On the floor by the desk were the boxes I'd dropped off earlier in the week, filled with my books, a photo frame of me, Charlie and Jake, some trinkets for the desk and a blanket to throw over myself if I was working late.

I spent the first hour, unpacking all my books in alphabetical order, organising my desk and sorting out the computer. Just as I had sat down on the sofa to eat a granola bar, a knock sounded on my door. I smiled, jumping up, eager to meet my colleagues. So far, I'd met the Dean, as well as the head of the history department, who was a lovely man in his 50s called Edgar. I pulled open the door.

"Hi, you must be Bella!" A woman in her mid-thirties was standing there smiling at me. She had dark brown hair that was cut in a sharp bob around her face. Her eyes were blue and friendly, and she was wearing a stylish grey pantsuit. She was also clutching a bottle of red wine. "I'm Aimee." She said. I smiled back.

"Hi Aimee, it's so lovely to meet you. Please come in." I said, gesturing into the room. She came in and held out the bottle of red to me. It was a Pinot, my favourite. "Thank you so much!" I said, placing it on the table. I walked over to the sofa and she followed me, sitting down next to me.

"You're very welcome, it's nice to have another woman in the department!" Aimee said, grinning at me. "That makes 3 to 7, so we're still very outnumbered, but it improves the odds." I laughed. It always seemed to be the way that more men became history professors than women.

"I'm glad to have balanced the scales somewhat." I returned.

"You're a professor of Native American History right?" Aimee questioned.

"Yes!" I exclaimed, "What about you?"

"Ancient Greece, and a little of Rome." Aimee replied. "How are you feeling? It can be daunting when you first become a professor, even though you've taught before!" I put my hands on my knees and smiled slightly.

"I'm feeling good actually, I was a little nervous when I first came in." I admitted. "But I feel like that'll wear off once I just jump in." She nodded vigorously.

"Oh definitely. Come on, let me show you the most important place in the whole college," she said, standing up. When she caught my confused expression she said, "Where the coffee is!" I laughed and followed her out the door.

* * *

Aimee was extremely talkative, but I didn't mind in the slightest. It was lovely to have someone so chatty and open, to be honest, her positivity reminded me of Jake. I felt a pang in my chest, I really missed him.

"And this is Carter, he's four." Aimee gushed, showing me her blonde haired, blue eyed son on a bright red slide. I smiled; he was adorable.

"He's so cute!" I told her. "How do you cope though? Doing this job with four kids at home!" I raised my eyebrows.

Aimee just laughed.

"If I didn't have Mark's help, I couldn't do it. But we take turns going on sabbatical and looking after the kids." Mark was her husband, and also an academic, specialising in Ancient warfare.

I sipped my coffee, listening to her chat away. After what had only seemed like 10 minutes, I glanced at my watch and noticed I only had about half an hour before my class. I said my goodbyes and promised to catch up with her for some lunch after the lecture.

Luckily, I knew where to go, so I didn't stress about time. I picked up my laptop from my office and made my way to where I would be teaching the class. This specific lecture was on the initial contact between the Native Americans and the Europeans, and I was looking forward to delivering it the undergraduates. The class later on, would be delivered to students completing their masters, which was focused on the subject of my book, war practices. I was most excited for this, as I found that amongst the undergraduate students, there were always those who were only slightly interested in the topic, and just needed to pick a minor for their degree. In the Master classes, everybody had an interest in the subject, making it much more pleasurable to teach.

I made my way to the theatre in fairly good time, and set my things up on the front desk, connecting my laptop to the PowerPoint and grabbing my clicker so I could walk around freely. I gave myself a mini pep-talk and then smiled as the first students trickled into the room. I busied myself on my laptop, not wanting to stare at them awkwardly while they talked amongst themselves. I watched the students subtly from behind my desk, they seemed so young, even though they were only a few years younger than me. I noticed one of the students at the back of the class, winking at the girls around him and flirting heavily. I stifled a grin. He reminded me so much of Paul at that age.

After about 10 minutes, the last few students had trickled in, and it was the official start time of the lecture. I walked out from behind the desk and smiled at the students.

"Hello everybody, my name is Dr. Bella Swan, but you can call me Bella." I surveyed the room. "Put your hand up if you've ever studied Native American History before?" I asked, expecting the majority of students to raise their hands. Most did, except a select few.

"Okay." I said smiling again. "Now forget everything you already know, and let's start from the beginning. So much of what you learn in school about the initial meeting between Native Americans and the Europeans is deeply enshrined in how we view America today. Our study often leaves us in a quandary, for if we truly object to the actions of our ancestors, what right do we have to cherish America the way we do now, for without their actions, no matter how abhorrent, America today would not exist." I paused, scanning the room and making eye contact with as many students as possible while they contemplated my words. "I want you to leave behind the present, as much as you can, and let's focus on what _actually_ happened, in the 16th century. Let us not paint either side as good, or evil, but attempt to piece together what evidence we do have, to give us the most accurate account of events." I clicked my PowerPoint and the first slide popped up. I surveyed the class again, seeing the students looking at me interestedly and I felt a bubbling of pride rise in my stomach.

"Let's begin with the first visit to what is now America." I said calmly.

I packed away my things with a big grin on my face. The class had gone spectacularly. The students had looked like they actually enjoyed the class, and three of them had come down to the front to thank me. One of them was the flirty student I'd noticed at the start of the class and I stifled a laugh as he turned the charm on me. He was attractive, with sandy hair and deep hazel eyes, but he was a student, and far too young for me, if not in age, then in maturity. I dealt with him politely but maintained a semblance of coldness, to prevent him from reading my intentions incorrectly. I felt my stomach growl and realised in my excitement to meet Aimee this morning I'd missed eating my granola bar. I was absolutely starving! I gathered my laptop and threw it in my bag, walking out the door.

Lunch was a pleasant experience. Aimee introduced me to the other female history professor, Dr. Hazel Goodwin, a women in her forties, with a bright smile and chocolate brown eyes. Her hair was greying at the roots and was in tight ringlets that framed her face in an attractive manner.

"It's so lovely to meet you Hazel,' I said smiling at her.

"And you Bella!' she replied, "I'm sure Aimee told you, but you've definitely helped our problematic ratio of men to women in the department. Perhaps now we'll be able to convince the others to get rid of the awful colour scheme in the staff room."

I laughed alongside her and Aimee. Only two of the male professors were in, Dr. Alex Johnson, who specialised in medieval religious practices, and Dr. Hamish Ross, a professor of the French Revolution. Alex was in his early thirties, and strikingly attractive with dark hair that fell to his shoulders, pale blue eyes and a wicked grin. Dr Ross looked like he was in his late forties and had bright red hair and a matching beard.

"How are you finding your first day?" Alex asked me as he sat opposite me in the staff cafeteria. He grinned at me and I smiled back.

"It's been great so far actually." I said, letting my happiness at how the lecture had gone sink into my response. Alex looked genuinely interested when I discussed what I had taught, and I found myself in an easy conversation with him. He flirted gently with me, and I returned his attention, enjoying the banter. When he turned to Hamish to discuss something, I found myself staring at him. He was very attractive, sexy even, and when he smiled his whole face lit up, and his eyes crinkled a little. His cheekbones sat high in his face and his lips were slightly pink and pouty. His hair looked thick and shiny and I could imagine tangling my hands in it as he kissed me. My breath caught in my throat a little and he paused in his conversation and shot me a smirk. Not to mention he also seemed interesting and kind. I sighed internally, it was times like these when I felt the most resentment for Edward. Here was a charming and sexy man, who I got on well with, and yet…for all his attractive traits, he had one terrible flaw, he wasn't Edward. I made a note to myself that if he did ask me out, I would say yes. It's time I pushed Edward out of my thoughts, and truly attempted to have a meaningful adult relationship. I was stirred out of my musings by Hamish, who baited me into a debate about European and Native American war strategies by suggesting that technology dictates success in war. The five of us bantered back and forth over the lunch period and I found myself laughing loudly, and truly enjoying my day. It was with a smile, that I headed to my office to prepare for my second lecture. And it was still on my face when I walked down the corridor to the lecture theatre.

_How's it going? E x_

I looked at my phone and smiled to myself.

_It's going great actually! My class went well, and my colleagues seem nice, I'm on my way to my second class now. B x_

_That's awesome! So…anyone catch your eye? ;) E x_

I smirked,

_Maybe, one of my colleagues seems interesting. B x_

_OMG BELLA! Tell me everything right now! What does he look like? What's his name? Would you fuck him?! E x_

I laughed out loud at that one.

_His name is Alex. He's pretty hot, he's got blue eyes and dark hair that goes to his shoulders. And idk maybe ;) B x_

_OMG! E x_

Before I could reply my phone beeped again.

_We're going for drinks after this class tonight. I want to hear everything. E x_

I was still smiling at my phone when I walked into the class, and I set my laptop up at the front. This class would only contain 10 students, so it was a lot smaller. It would also involve a lot more interaction between me and the students but I was okay with that. I was looking forward to meeting my PhD students on Thursday. I only had two, but they would both be working as my TA's, which would lessen my work load immensely. As the first students started walking in, I got out my phone to reply to Erica.

_Sounds great! You're buying ;) B x _

I chuckled to myself and looked back up at my class.

I froze.

Standing directly in front of me and staring at me with a tortured look on his face, was Edward Cullen.

I felt like someone had dropped ice cold water all over me. I knew in the back of my mind that I had stopped breathing but I felt frozen to the spot.

He looked exactly the same.

His reddish bronze hair was in disarray on his head. I ran my eyes over his body and felt a lump in my throat as my heart thumped dramatically at his appearance. He was wearing a pair of black jeans and a fitted white shirt. His lips were slightly red, as always, his pale skin making his bright gold eyes stand out, as they stared intently into mine. I couldn't decide if I wanted to hit him or jump on him and kiss him fiercely. The shock of seeing him again sent shivers down my spine. The edges of my vision started to go blurry and I frowned confused.

"Breathe, Bella." His familiar voice rung like bells in my ears and shocked me out of my stupor. I took a gasping breath, placing my hand on the desk for support. I gulped heavily feeling a multitude of emotions flit through my head. Sadness, excitement, pain, desire, anger. I closed my eyes for a second.

_Come on Bella, this is silly, stop acting like this,_ I scolded myself. There was always a possibility you'd run into him again, and now you have. Nothing's changed. He told you he didn't want you. He _left_ you. _Now greet him formally and get on with it! _I shouted the last part at myself and felt a steely resolve set over me.

"Edward." I said pleasantly, the calmness in my voice shocking me so much I thought I might fall over. "It's lovely to see you again." I nodded politely. "Please take a seat, I'll begin the lecture momentarily." I gestured to the seats behind him dismissively. And then looked back down at the desk, going through my things. Internally I felt like I was in the middle of a tornado, but I maintained a calm exterior, trying to breathe evenly.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._ What was he doing here?! I ignored the panic going on in my head and sorted out my PowerPoint. I could feel him standing there still, and I willed myself not to look up at him. Every part of me wanted to jump over the desk and into his arms, but I couldn't embarrass myself like that. What would he think anyway? This is probably his worst nightmare, having to run into me. He turned from the desk then, and I took another calming breath, before looking up at the class. All the other nine students had arrived and were talking amongst themselves. I glanced at Edward, he sat slightly apart from the rest, on my left hand side and was staring at me with an unreadable expression.

"Hi everybody," I said, flashing the students a smile. "My name is Dr. Bella Swan, but please, call me Bella." I looked around the room, "Could you please tell me your name, and a little bit about each of you? Perhaps why you've chosen to do a master's, and why this course in particular appealed to you?" I gestured to the blonde-haired girl, sitting on the far right of the room first, wanting to prolong hearing Edward's voice for as long as I could.

"Hi, my name is Christie. I really love history, so I guess that's why I'm doing a masters," she laughed lightly, and a few of the other students shared a slight chuckle with her. "I chose to do this course, because Dr. Swan - " I raised my eyebrow at her and she laughed again, "Sorry, Bella," I smiled appeased, "Because I loved your paper on Native American war rituals, and I wanted to learn more about it." She shot me a smile and I returned it.

"It's nice to meet you Christie, and I'm glad you enjoyed my paper." I smiled, turning to the next student. By the time the student sitting to the right of Edward spoke, I had almost forgotten he was there. I felt myself start slightly as I heard his velvet voice again. I forced myself to look at him with a pleasant expression on my face.

"Hi, I'm Edward." He shot the students a smile and one of the girls swooned slightly. I felt myself swoon a little too, but I ignored it. "I have an avid interest in History, and I haven't explored Native American history before, so that is why I'm doing this course." He looked at me and smiled slightly at the end of his sentence and I felt my heart jump in my chest. I felt embarrassed, knowing he could hear it.

"It's nice to meet you Edward." I replied, offering him a curt smile and hoping the students didn't notice my frostiness towards him. The lesson passed in a blur. Thankfully, Edward didn't really speak in the class, except when I had the students paired up to discuss scalping, in which he seemed to be having an avid discussion with the girl who had swooned before. I felt jealously stirring in my stomach as I watched her hang on every word and felt stupid. Why was I jealous of a twenty-year-old girl just for talking to him? It's not like he even wants me. It wasn't until the class ended and the students started to walk out that I realised I was shaking.

"Stupid fucking vampire, randomly showing up." I muttered to myself packing my belongings up.

"Hi Bella." I heard above me. I felt my cheeks go red. I looked up biting my lip.

"Any chance you didn't hear that?"

He laughed slightly and it sent shivers down my spine. I felt a wave of longing towards him and supressed it sighing.

"I can pretend I didn't." he replied, offering me a crooked smile. I felt myself smile back automatically and I quickly shook my head, looking down.

"What are you doing here Edward?" I asked, sighing. He frowned.

"I'm sorry Bella, I really didn't expect you'd be here." He admitted. "It's good to see you."

I continued looking at the desk. Of course, he'd say that, it was the polite thing to do. It didn't mean anything.

"- so, I'll drop out of the class." He said, and I looked up at him shocked, realising I'd missed the first part of his sentence.

"Why?" I asked. Did he really think that I was so pitiful that I couldn't cope to have him in my class? I felt anger stirring in my belly and I met his gaze head on.

"When I left." He paused. "I promised you, it would be like I never existed." Oh yes, I remember that line perfectly.

"Yes, you did." I snapped. "And that included taking away everything your family had given me. You took everything away and I felt like I was going insane. You didn't even leave any way to contact you." He looked at me shocked. "I had no way of stopping _her_ when shecame back for me." I narrowed my eyes at him.

He looked confused.

"Who do you mean Bella?" he asked, searching my eyes.

"Victoria." I said, gritting my teeth. I held out my arm and pulled back my sleeve, revealing the pink scar. Edward gasped and grabbed my arm gently.

I ignored the way my body reacted when I felt him touch me. My stomach flipped and heat spread from where his cool hand touched my arm. _Traitorous bitch_, I thought irritated. His thumb ran down the scar on my arm and I felt my lower stomach stir and my heart skipped a beat. I pulled my arm away.

"I'm so sorry Bella." He said, sounding anguished. I searched his gaze for the coldness he'd shown towards me in the woods but there was nothing there except concern. _I must be imagining things_, I thought to myself, confused. Why would he care.

"Did she…Did she hurt Charlie?" he asked, sounding defeated.

"No." I replied. He looked relieved. "He wasn't home that night. She did kill Harry Clearwater though, the wolves caught her after that. I was lucky that Jake was around." I stated.

"Jake? Billy's son? Why would-" He paused, and his eyes shot to mine. "Is Jake a wolf?" He asked worriedly.

I laughed at the expression on his face.

"Yes. He is." I replied.

"Bella! Wolves are dangerous!" He ran his hand through his hair and watched slightly enraptured, before what he said hit me.

"Fuck off with the fake concern Edward." I snapped. He recoiled and looked at me shocked. "Jake has been a loyal friend to me, and without him I-" I felt tears sting my eyes and I blinked angrily, not wanting him to see me cry.

"I have to go." I said shakily, grabbing my bag.

"Bella, wait." Edward said reaching towards me. I stepped out of his reach and started walking towards the door when I suddenly tripped forward.

'Fuck!' I cursed as I braced myself for impact, squeezing my eyes shut. They sprung open shocked when instead of the ground I hit a solid cold body.

"Still a walking hazard." Edward muttered. He pulled me up and I felt dizzy from the close proximity to him. He smelt the same, sweet and intoxicating. I felt my breath catch in my throat, acutely aware of his hands as they held the small of my back. I felt a sudden urge to kiss him and the compulsion was so strong I had to force myself not to move. Edward's eyes darkened slightly as he looked at me, and I wondered if this was difficult for him, being this close to my blood after so long. I took a shaky breath and pulled away from his grip slightly. He dropped his arms instantly.

"I'm sorry." He apologised, "I just didn't want you to hurt yourself." He sounded anguished. I frowned, confused. Why was he acting like he cared?

I stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say.

"Don't leave." I heard myself saying. Then I walked out of the room.

I managed to calmly walk to my office, and it wasn't until I had closed and locked the door behind me that I burst into tears. Seeing him again…it was like the wound he had left behind all those years ago had torn itself back open.

I got out my phone and dialled Jake's number. He didn't answer so I left him a hysterical voice message. Making sure to start it by saying that I was okay, and not injured. I sat at my desk and willed myself to get on with the work I had set out for myself. I tried not to linger on how good Edward smelled. Or how amazing it had felt when he had touched me. I was just editing the last piece of my PowerPoint for tomorrow's lecture when there was a rap on the door to my office. I wiped my eyes again, making sure I didn't look like I'd been crying, and opened the door. The effort had been futile because as soon as I beheld who stood there the tears started streaming down my face again.

"Alice." I managed to say through my tears.

"Oh Bella!" Alice said sounded anguished as she rushed at me and hugged me tightly.

* * *

It took me ten minutes to stop crying. Alice stayed silent the whole time, gently rubbing my back as I cried on her shoulder. It was like hugging a rock, but pleasant all the same. When I finally stopped, she walked me over to my couch and patted the seat. I complied and sat down, turning to face her. She sighed.

"I'm so sorry Bella." She said. I frowned, that hadn't been what I expected her to say.

"Why are you here?" I asked as it suddenly dawned on me that she probably wouldn't want to see me any more than Edward would. It came out harsher than I intended, and she winced slightly.

"I deserve that." She said. She turned to me and looked at me beseechingly, her large gold eyes looking sad. "Can I explain myself Bella?" She asked.

I nodded.

"When we left, Edward told us that you were okay with us not contacting you. He said…he said he'd spoken to you about it, and that you were okay. I didn't know." Her voice broke. "I didn't know that he left you in the woods. He told me today, what really happened." I sighed.

"It's not your fault Alice." I stated dejectedly. "Edward didn't want me anymore, and he's your brother, it was right that you were on his side." Alice looked at me confused.

"What do you mean he didn't want you anymore? Edward loves you." Alice said frowning.

"No Alice." I corrected. "When he left, he told me I was too human for him, he said, he didn't want me anymore. He doesn't love me." I looked at the floor.

"He lied." I looked up at Alice shocked.

"No. He didn't." I said frowning at her. "Why would he?"

Alice looked at me intently, "Trust me Bella, Edward loves you. He spent five years away from us, just sulking in misery, he only came back to us recently, and even then, he's been quiet."

"He was probably just enjoying his distractions." I told her, feeling uneasy.

"I'm going to kill him." Alice growled. "Bella trust me. There has been no one but _you_!" I shook my head.

"That can't be right Alice." I replied. She growled again and suddenly she was on her feet over by the door. She took out her phone and before I saw her even dialling, she was hissing into it, far too quickly for me to discern what she was saying.

"Will you let him explain everything to you Bella?" Alice said, turning to me. I realised she'd finished on the phone and I sighed.

"What difference will it make Alice? You'll just be forcing him to say everything he's already said again." I shook my head, "No. I don't want to go through it again. Tell him he should stay in my class. It was just a shock seeing him today, but I'm okay."

Alice frowned at me. "But Bella can't you just -"

"No." I interrupted. "Just leave it be Alice." I stood up and packed my things. I would finish the rest of this later, I needed to go otherwise I'd be late for the class with Erica.

Alice walked out the building with me, and I smiled at her reaction to seeing my car.

"Wow Bella, this is amazing." She commented appraisingly.

I laughed, "I know, she's my baby. Alice, meet Veronica."

Alice grinned and pat the car on the side, "Hello Veronica." She crooned. "I bet it goes really fast." She said coyly, grinning at me.

"Yep." I stated proudly. "Maybe I'll let you drive her at some point." Alice laughed and gave me a hug.

"I've missed you Bella." She stated soberly. "I'm so good to see you."

"It's good to see you too Alice." I said back. We exchanged numbers and I got into my car, waving goodbye as I drove out the parking lot.

When I was halfway home Jake called me. He was frantic.

"Jesus Bella are you okay? What do you mean Edward's there?"

It took me ten minutes to explain what happened and he swore loudly.

"It's fine, I'm sorry I called you in such a panic, it was just such a shock." I said reassuringly, running my hand through my hair.

"Well I've already booked my flight." Jake said resolutely.

"You have?" I said, secretly pleased. It would be so nice to see him.

"Yes, so I don't want to hear any objections. I'll be there by tomorrow morning." I was lucky that as part of the pack, Jake got paid by the reservation, and didn't have to give notice for work.

"Okay." I said, smiling despite my mood.

We talked back and forth as I drove home and I was pleased to hear he was dating.

"The only issue of course is if I imprint on somebody." Jake said sounding worried. "But realistically that might not even happen! I can't put my life on hold just in case, can I?"

"Of course not." I reassured him.

"I just don't want to hurt anyone the way Sam hurt Leah." I swallowed heavily.

"You won't Jake. Even if you imprint, you'll end things better than Sam." I felt extremely sorry for Leah, though I'd never show that to her. She and I had become friends and if she saw pity from me she'd resent it.

"Samantha is pretty cool though, you'd like her." He said, I could hear the smile in his voice and found myself smiling back.

By the time I got home and threw on my gym clothes, I was running five minutes later than I had intended. When I got to the gym and parked I practically ran up the stairs to the studio, managing to make it just as Liam was beginning the warm up. I threw my water bottle down next to Erica and went into downward dog, peddling my feet.

"Are you okay?" Erica asked, concerned. We stood up and I shrugged at her, before swinging my arms in and out at Liam's request. I had text her about what happened earlier, and she'd been just as shocked as I had.

"I still can't believe it." She stated bending her body sideways. Liam appeared behind us then and grabbed hold of Erica's waist, tilting her a little to the left.

"Like this." He stated. He shot her a smirk and then continued walking around the room. She gazed after him with a wicked look in her eye and I rolled my eyes.

"Did you see that Bella." She lifted her chin slightly. "I bet he's gonna ask me out after class."

"That or take you into the changing rooms and fuck you senseless." I muttered. She giggled and whipped me with her towel.

"I wouldn't mind." She said dreamily. I fake gagged and she whipped me with the towel again laughing.

40 minutes later we were lying on the mats struggling to breathe.

"Fuck me." I said gasping for breath. "This class was no joke." I felt like I'd never sweat so much in my life.

"You're telling me." Erica said groaning. "My ass feels like it's broken." I giggled, setting her off and then we both groaned as our abs twinged.

"Hurts. To. Laugh." I managed to say, trying to stop. That just made Erica laugh harder.

"I definitely need a massage after that." She stated, stretching her arms up over her head.

"Maybe I can help with that." A deep voice sounded above us. I leant up on my elbows. Liam was standing there staring at Erica with a grin on his face. I sighed and fell back on my mat. Time to make my exit.

"Maybe you can." Erica flirted, sitting up and shoving her tits against her knees. I snorted and she shot me a glare. I groaned and got up off my mat. Erica stood up too and walked closer to Liam. He whispered something and she giggled gently slapping his chest. Pssht more like a caress than a slap. I started walking towards the door, wondering how long it would take him to ask her out and if maybe I should just meet her after I'd had a shower. We were the last three people in the room anyway so I felt like he would do it quickly. I paused at the door as I heard a clatter and turned around. Erica had dropped her bottle on the floor and was wrapped up in Liam's arms as he kissed her. I stared open mouthed. Really.

"Ahem." I said. They broke apart and Erica shot me a wink. I groaned again. For god's sake.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" Liam said running his hand down her arm.

"Sure." Erica simpered, leaning in and kissing him on the cheek. I rolled my eyes. I was happy for her she'd had her sights on him for over three weeks now. She skipped to me and slipped her arm through mine as we walked to the changing rooms.

She sighed heavily. I turned to her bewildered,

"Why are you sighing? I thought you wanted him to ask you out."

She sighed again dramatically, "Yes but that's before I realised how good at kissing, he is. If I want him to actually date me, I can't sleep with him, at least for a few dates anyway…but it's gonna be so _hard_ Bella." She whined.

I laughed. I could relate. It had been over 6 months since I'd been with anyone and I was missing the contact.

"Oh, you'll be fine." I said, though secretly, I doubted it. Erica and I had often laughed at both of our inabilities to resist sex with our partners at the beginning of new relationships. My best attempt had been five dates, but that was only because he wasn't that attractive. I blame Paul, he created a monster.

* * *

An hour later we were sat in our favourite bar, with a bottle of Pinot between us.

"So, he just appeared?" She said, sipping on her wine. Erica knew about Edward leaving and our relationship together, but she didn't know he was a vampire. I'd decided that it really wasn't appropriate to tell her, both for her safety, and the continuance of our friendship, I doubted she'd believe me anyway.

"Yep." I said sighing.

"And were you still attracted to him?" She asked, giving me a pointed look.

"Obviously." I stated, rolling my eyes. "He looks like a fucking sex god. The same as he did then." I huffed.

"I still think it's so weird you guys never went further than kissing. How did he resist you?" Erica said, scrunching her face up.

"He was…traditional." I said, smiling to myself.

"Do you still love him?" She asked. I looked up at the ceiling.

"No comment." I replied, taking a long sip of wine.

"So, are you going to talk to him?" She said raising her eyebrows.

I scowled.

"No." I sighed, "I don't know. Maybe. I mean what's there to even say anyway. I guess he could apologise?" I contemplated that for a moment. "Maybe I will talk to him. I'll see what Jake says when he arrives."

"Ooh Jake's coming? That'll be so nice!" Erica gushed. I rolled my eyes. She was a little obsessed with Jake.

"Yep, but I'm sure your just glad to see him as _friends,_ now you've got Liam." I said pointedly. She laughed.

"That I do, Bella Boo, that I do." She grinned. "What about the professor you were on about that you said was cute, Alex?"

I'd forgotten about Alex in all the excitement. I shrugged.

"I mean yeah, I guess if he were to ask me out, I'd say yes." I said. I wasn't so sure anymore. Having seen Edward again…it stirred up so many emotions inside of me that I'd thought I'd gotten rid of.

It was dawning on me that I wasn't over him in the slightest.

An hour later Erica and I had finished our third bottle of wine and we were feeling extremely drunk.

"Maybe I should call Liam now." Erica slurred slightly. I found this extremely amusing and gripped the table in my fit of giggles.

"You can't." I managed to say.

"Why not!" She said indignantly. "I bet he'd show me a great time." She had a big silly grin on her face, and I giggled louder.

"You said, you wanted to make him wait." I stated, smacking my hand on the table.

Ow. I winced, that hurt more than I intended.

Whilst I was nursing my hand Erica stood up suddenly from the bar stool and slipped sideways, sprawling onto her ass. I stared at her my mouth agape for about 5 seconds before I burst into laughter.

"Erica are you okay?' I said between fits of giggles. She was crying with laughter on the floor and it sent me into another fit, causing my stomach to tighten painfully as I gasped for breath.

"Yes." She giggled, pulling herself off the floor.

"Are you okay?" A blonde-haired guy rushed over, looking at Erica intently. She smiled sweetly at him.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you." She said, patting him on the chest. I rolled my eyes when he gave her his number and then left, offering her a smile before he went back to his friends.

"If falling off a stool gets you attractive men's numbers, maybe I should do it more often." I said giggling. Erica winked at me.

When we got outside, I realised I had a bit of a problem. We'd left Erica's car at the gym and driven in mine, but I was in no state to drive. Also, whilst we could share a taxi home, we lived in opposite directions, and that would mean one of us would have to be in the taxi by themselves, I didn't like that idea, not when we were this drunk. I don't know if it was because I was drunk or because I had missed her, but I found myself calling Alice.

When I heard the phone pick up I said,

"Hi Alice! It's Bella, I know this is a random request," I paused and burst into laughter as Erica accidentally walked into a lamp post. I grabbed her and shook my head, holding her next to me, "Sorry about that, my friend tripped. I was wondering if you were potentially free to come and get me and my friend Erica. We've been out for a few drinks and I'm too drunk to drive. I don't really want either of us in a taxi by ourselves just in case, and we live in opposite directions. I would really appreciate it." I said, giggling again as Erica started dancing and singing 'Baby got Back.'

There was silence on the other end of the phone, and I frowned.

"Alice - "

"I'll come and get you Bella. Where are you?" Edward's smooth velvet voice came down the phone. I almost dropped it.

"Oh Edward, I'm sorry I thought this was Alice's phone." I said alarmed. Erica looked at me shocked and mouthed, 'Is that him?' I nodded and she gasped.

"It is." He replied smoothly, "Alice is…preoccupied at the moment. Just tell me where you are, and I'll come get you. Please." He pleaded. I looked at Erica stricken, and she grabbed the phone from me.

"We're at Hal's." She said, and then hung up. She screeched at me. "Oh, my fucking god Bella, I'm going to meet him!" I spent the next 10 minutes freaking out, whilst Erica tried to calm me down.

"Bella it'll be fine, he's just dropping us home." She said, rolling her eyes. I was almost hyperventilating, and she slapped my leg. "Stop being so fucking dramatic."

I couldn't help but laugh at the serious expression on her face and she smiled at me.

"I can't believe you fell over." I stated, bursting into laughter again as I remembered her falling off the bar stool.

"I've definitely bruised my ass now." She said morosely.

"Maybe Liam can kiss it better." I cackled. She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

A car then came peeling down the street and halted in front of us. I looked at it surprised. I had expected Edward to drive a Volvo, like he had in Forks, but this car was an Audi, it was black and sleek and a good car. Just, not what I'd expected. Edward jumped out the car then, and I felt my stomach clench at the sight of him. He was still in those black jeans from earlier, only now he was wearing a fitted red T-Shirt. His hair was even wilder than normal, and his eyes were intense when they looked at mine. Erica turned to me and mouthed 'Wow.' I rolled my eyes at her.

"Are you okay Bella?" Edward asked, as he stepped in front of me. His smell wafted over me and I swallowed heavily, feeling desire coil itself in my stomach.

"Yep." I managed to say. "Just had a little too much wine to drive." I smirked. He raised his eyebrows slightly at my grin and I expected him to admonish me but instead he just offered me a smirk of his own. I opened my mouth in shock, but he'd already turned to introduce himself to Erica.

That smile was hot as fuck. Why had he never smiled at me like that before. I stood there still going over the moment in my head when he cocked his head at me.

"You gonna get in?" He asked pointedly. I shivered at his gaze. Edward was being so different with me.

I _really_ liked it.

I nodded and got in the passenger seat. He helped Erica into the car and then appeared next to me instantly. I shot him a look, was he trying to show Erica he was a vampire?! He met my gaze with a crooked smile and placed his hands on the wheel. Erica chatted animatedly from the backseat and I had to stifle a smile as Edward engaged politely with her. He laughed at her jokes and even made some of his own, making me stare at him in shock.

Who was this Edward?

Erica passed out in the backseat and I relaxed slightly, enjoying the silence. I looked at Edward as he took one hand off the wheel and let it rest in his lap. I took the opportunity to stare at him. I felt like I was looking at him with new eyes. The arm holding the wheel was corded with muscle. The T-Shirt was tight across his chest, accentuating the muscles there. My gaze settled lower, drifting over his legs and his lap, where I had once been too shy to look. I smirked to myself, Edward was definitely packing. I started to giggle at that thought but then gulped heavily at the implications. It wasn't like I hadn't thought about Edward in a sexual way before, I had. But I'd been so innocent then and I didn't really have any experience to compare it to. Now though…heat spread in my stomach as I imagined how it would feel to run my hand down his chest, and across his lap. I looked at his long fingers and shivered, wondering how they'd feel running down the inside of my thighs, or moving between my legs. I bit my lip as I imagined what noises he'd make as I kissed my way down his chest. Images of us together appeared in my mind and my breath quickened. I felt moisture pool between my legs, and I squeezed my thighs together a little, taking a shaky breath.

Edward's hand on the steering wheel suddenly gripped tighter and he turned to look at me his eyes intense.

"What are you thinking about Bella?" He asked me, his velvet voice slightly lower than usual.

"Just stuff." I replied huskily.

"About that guy at work, Alex?" he said pointedly. I rolled my eyes. I dreaded to think what information Erica was giving away in her thoughts.

"Nope." I said, popping my lips on the 'p'. "You shouldn't listen to her thoughts anyway." I admonished.

"I can't exactly help it." He replied, raising his left eyebrow at me.

Once again, I was both shocked and slightly turned on by his behaviour.

"What did you hear." I asked.

"That there's a professor at your new job that you find attractive. That seeing me upset you." He sighed. "I'm so so-"

"What else?" I said, interrupting him.

He smiled wryly, "Something about me looking like a sex god." He chuckled as I turned bright red.

"Well-" I spluttered. He smirked.

"So, what _were _you thinking about Bella?" He asked me, looking at me intently.

I took a shaky breath. "If you must know…you."

He swallowed heavily. "Oh."

"What about me?" He said, huskily.

My breath caught at his expression and my stomach flipped.

"Just…" I paused, biting my lip, nervous all of a sudden. He was going to freak out if I told him. Then again, part of me wanted to provoke him.

"Tell me." He breathed.

"I was thinking,' I said huskily, I paused to clear my throat, "About you and me..." I bit my lip.

"You and me what Bella?" he murmured, his velvet voice sounding slightly lower than usual.

"Fucking." I stated, then watched him, waiting for him to start protesting at my language, or panicking over my words, but he didn't.

He studied me then, his dark eyes drifting down my body slowly, lingering on my breasts, before springing back up to look into my eyes. I felt hot under his gaze and shifted in my seat, feeling another flow of moisture between my legs.

God, he'd never looked at me like that before. It was like he was undressing me with his eyes.

"Bella…you - fuck." He said throatily; his eyes dark. I gasped. I'd never heard Edward swear before. The way his voice wrapped around the word made it sound so…naughty. My stomach flipped and I felt my breathing increase rapidly. It occurred to me then that he could probably smell my arousal, and for some reason that only made my panties wetter.

"You said fuck." I managed to say, my heart thudding in my chest.

Say it again. _Please_.

He looked at me, his gold eyes smouldering, "Am I not allowed to say _fuck_?"

Oh my god. That word sounded so hot coming from his mouth.

I licked my lips and his eyes flickered to them, before gazing back at mine. I sighed slightly, feeling frustrated and pressed my legs together. His eyes were dark as he smirked at me slightly causing another rush of fluid between my legs. Then his hand reached over and gently rested on my thigh. I led out a barely audible moan as I felt his cold hand on my leg, but I know he heard it because he squeezed my thigh gently in response.

I couldn't believe how different he was being. This Edward was nothing like the one who'd barely kissed me when I was 17.

"You're so different." I murmured to him. "Why?"

Before he could answer, we'd arrived at Erica's and I got out the car reluctantly. The fresh air did nothing to ease the heat between my legs. I helped her to her door and giggled as she tripped up the steps.

"I thought I was supposed to be the clumsy one." I teased. She huffed at me. I gave her a big hug goodbye and she winked at me as she closed the door. I rolled my eyes and headed back to the car. Edward stared at me intensely for a second as I got into the seat. The dark look he gave me sent shivers down my spine. The minute I shut the door we were zooming forward.

I told him where I lived, and he nodded. His chiselled jaw looked tight as he surveyed the road. As I watched his long fingers grip the steering wheel, I shifted in my seat a little, trying to find some relief. Edward shook his head slightly,

"Bella, you're driving me fucking crazy, you know that?" he said darkly. The tone of his voice made me moan and I tried to bite it back. I failed, judging by his smirk.

There was the fuck again. So hot.

"Oh yeah?" I said. I was almost certain he'd go back to his old chivalrous self again.

"Yes." He stated firmly, glancing this time at my lap, before flicking his eyes up to mine. I swallowed heavily. After the gym I'd just thrown on a casual but fitted green dress. It was cotton and stretchy, it hugged my breasts and my waist, and accentuated my butt, finishing just below the knee.

"Why?" I said throatily. He laughed darkly and it went straight to my core. He'd never laughed like that before.

"The way you're looking at me, knowing that you're thinking about me…and fuck, Bella I can _smell_ you." He replied, shifting in his seat slightly. My eyes dropped to the bulge in his lap and I rubbed my thighs together, feeling another rush of moisture.

'Mmm' he groaned quietly, making me bite my lip in desire. I stared at him through heavy eyes, feeling like my whole body was humming.

The car stopped then and I looked out the window, realising we'd made it to my apartment block.

He smirked at me and I blushed, nervous now that the car had stopped. I pondered inviting him inside.

"I missed your blush." He stated fondly. I felt a pang in my chest. It was like he'd poured ice cold water over me, reminding me that he'd left me, and that despite his behaviour tonight, he didn't want me. I looked at my knees feeling a lump in my throat.

"I missed you." I muttered under my breath, realising too late that he would hear me. His cold hand cupped my chin and tilted it up to him gently. I ignored the heat that reignited in my belly at his touch.

"I missed _you_ Bella." He said, looking at me with a pained expression. I huffed and looked out the window, pulling away from his touch.

"Why don't you believe me?" Edward said, sounding frustrated.

"Because Edward…you said you didn't want me anymore, and you _left_. You didn't miss me." I replied sharply.

"I lied." He said, sounding exasperated. "And you believed me so _easily_." He shook his head, his hand tearing through his bronze hair.

I stared at him in shock. That wasn't true. It couldn't be true.

"What do you mean?" I said shakily.

"I wanted to protect you Bella, from this world." He sounded pained, "From my world." He tore his hand through his hair. "It was bad enough with James, that was the first straw, but then, that night, at your birthday party…you could have died Bella."

I shook my head, "No. I wouldn't have, it was just a stupid papercut Edward."

He winced, "Then I pushed you…and there was so much blood. I could read their thoughts Bella, they all wanted to bite you." He sounded anguished. "I had to keep you safe, so I left Bella. I lied to you, so you'd let me go. I just wanted you to have a normal human life. I _love_ you. I never stopped loving you."

My eyes were blurry, and it took me a moment to realise I was crying. Hot wet tears poured down my cheeks.

"I have to go." I managed to say.

"Bella please, don't." Edward pleaded, reaching out for me.

"Just…give me time Edward." I said shakily, opening the car door and stepping out.

Edward put his head in his hands.

I unlocked my front door and walked into my apartment. The events of the night hit me and I broke down, crying on the floor.

* * *

I woke up and groaned loudly.

I felt horrible. My head was throbbing. Thank god my first class wasn't until 3pm today. I pulled myself up, sipping the water I'd placed by my bed last night relieved. It was 8am, Jake would be arriving soon.

I'd slept awfully. I'd kept replaying the conversation with Edward over and over in my head. In some dreams it ended with Edward pinning me up against the car, fucking me intensely. In others he told me he didn't want me again. The reality seemed just as unbelievable as my dreams.

I felt desire curl in my stomach, remembering our conversation in the car, and the way Edward had said 'Fuck.'

I felt so many emotions. Rage, want, sadness, pain. I was mad at myself for not questioning him more. If that was true, why didn't he come back? Why didn't he look for Victoria?

_I love you. I never stopped loving you._

I loved him too. I thought that I'd been over him, that I was okay…but the truth was, I wasn't. I loved him now, as fiercely as I had then.

My front door rang then, and I smiled. Jake.

When I opened the door he picked me up, wrapping me up in his arms and giving me a bear hug.

"Oh Bells, I missed you so much." He breathed into my hair. I felt myself crying again as I buried my face in his chest. "Oh, Bella." He said sympathetically.

I sat on his lap crying for over half an hour. He just held me, stroking my hair. When I stopped, he kissed me on the forehead and then got up, pacing the room.

"That filthy fucking bloodsucker. I can't _believe_ he's just walked back into your life like nothing's happened." He raged.

"What if he's telling the truth Jake." I replied, hugging my knees. He frowned and came to sit next to me.

"I don't know what to tell you to do, Bella. He hurt you so badly. You don't remember what you were like when he left, but _I do_. He doesn't deserve you. He doesn't deserve your forgiveness, or your time."

He sighed. "But…you still love him, don't you?"

I nodded, fresh tears pouring down my cheeks.

"If you feel like you need to talk to him, and hear his side of everything, then do it. But Bella,' he knelt down and grabbed my face in his hands, "Don't forget what he did to you. No matter what his excuses, he _left_ you. What would have happened if the pack wasn't there? Victoria would have-" he shook his head. "And I'm coming with you. I want to show him what he did to you."

I sent Erica a text asking how she was, and she replied with a crying face. I laughed.

_Edward was v. hot btw. What happened last night?! When you dropped me off, he looked like he wanted to eat you ;) E x_

_Nothing happened. I think I'm going to talk to him though. B x_

_Let me know how it goes then! Love you Bells. E x_

I had several messages from Alice. One was apologising for being busy when I called. The other two were asking if I was okay. The last one just said

_Call me. A x_

I sighed, grabbing the tea Jake made me and sat down on the sofa next to him. He ran his fingers through my hair nonchalantly as he texted Samantha and I leaned against his knees. The comfort I felt from his presence was indescribable.

I picked up the phone and dialled Alice's number.

"Bella." Alice answered.

She must have seen me calling.

"Did you know I was going to call?" I said, Jake rolled his eyes at me.

Alice's laugh tinkled through the phone.

"No but I have caller ID Bella." I smiled wryly. "Actually, I can't see you at all. Ever since I saw you yesterday you disappeared from my visions, I think that's why Edward was so panicked yesterday when you called."

I frowned. "That's weird. Nothing's changed since yesterday, my friend Jake is here though."

Alice made a weird noise and I looked at Jake confused. He shrugged at me.

"Carlisle says it might be the presence of the wolves. It would explain why I couldn't see you after we left."

I felt a lump in my throat, hearing Carlisle's name. I really wanted to see them all again.

"Are you okay?" Alice asked. "Edward told me he explained himself to you."

"Well he didn't really." I corrected. "There's still so much I don't know."

"Oh." Alice said. I heard her speaking rapidly but couldn't discern her words.

"Bella, would you come over?" She asked quietly.

I paused.

I did want to see the Cullen's again. And I wanted to hear more of what Edward had to say. My heart jumped at the thought of seeing him again.

"Where do you live?" I asked gruffly.

"45 Hastings Road, in the big house. And Bella, I assume you're bringing the wolf? I can't see you coming."

Jake smiled in satisfaction.

"I'm glad the bloodsucker can't see me."

I rolled my eyes, "Her name is Alice, Jake."

"Sure, sure." He replied. I laughed.

I went to my bedroom and put on a matching set of midnight blue lingerie. They were my favourite pair, comprising of see through lace that revealed my nipples through the material. I threw a pair of blue jeans and a plain white vest top on top.

We took a taxi to Hal's, so we could pick up my car. Jake whistled when he saw it.

"God Damn Bella, I knew you had the car, but I didn't know it would look this beautiful." He gushed.

I grinned, jumping into the driver's seat. I felt so much better having Jake with me.

* * *

The house was ginormous, it took us over 5 minutes to make it down the drive. Immediately as I pulled up there was a flash, and all the Cullen's appeared outside the house.

I couldn't help but smile, seeing them all again. Emmett was the first to come forward.

"Bella boo." Emmett grinned, picking me up and swinging me around. He hugged me tightly. "I missed you!" He exclaimed. "Also…sick ride." I smiled proudly.

"Bella." Esme said, with a big smile on her face, wrapping me up in her cold arms.

"It's lovely to see you again Bella," Carlisle greeted me, touching me on the arm and smiling.

Alice ran over and gave me a hug. Jasper followed her and he smiled at me.

"It's good to see you Bella." He stated.

Rosalie just surveyed me, offering me a tight lipped and polite smile. I stared back, raising my eyebrow at her and giving her my bitchiest smile. She raised her eyebrows and nodded slightly. I didn't have time to wonder what that meant before Edward stood in front of me.

My heart caught in my chest. He looked just as beautiful as always. He was in a different pair of jeans than last night, and a crisp green T-shirt. His golden eyes burned into mine intently.

"Hi Bella." He greeted me, offering me my crooked smile. I smiled back hesitantly. I wanted to hug him so badly. He reached out slightly and without even thinking about it I entered his arms. I breathed in his sweet and spicy scent and hummed contentedly. I felt him inhale against my hair, and as he exhaled, his cool breath blew against my ear making my stomach clench. I became acutely aware of where his hands touched the bare skin of my back and I shivered, though not from the cold. I felt my nipples pebble, straining against my bra. I pulled back shakily. The dark look in his eyes from the night before was back and the expression in them made my stomach flip.

"Ahem." I heard from behind me. I turned to Jake who was looking at me pointedly and I stifled a smile. Edward suddenly stiffened and I frowned as I looked at him.

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. I looked back at Jake, confused. Edward looked up at me then, an anguished expression on his face.

I knew then that Jake must have shared the memories of what I was like when Edward left.

"I'm so sorry." Edward managed to say as he stared at me looking pained. He glanced at Jake, "Thank you, for looking out for her, when I- when I wasn't there."

Jake glared at him and said nothing.

"Well this is awkward." Emmett said. Rosalie slapped him.

"Please, won't you both come inside." Esme stated, gesturing to the front door.

Jake pulled me aside. "Bella, do you want me to wait here, or should I go back to the apartment? What do you want me to do? I'm not going in there." He pointed at the house with a disgusted expression.

I sighed, "You can go back to the apartment Jake, I'm sure Alice or someone will drive me back later. I won't be long."

He stared at me for a moment before nodding.

The house was well decorated. I surmised that they probably had houses like this all over the country, perhaps even the world.

"Bella." Edward said, when we got inside. "Can we talk?" He looked at me beseechingly, "Please?" I nodded, and he led me up the stairs.

We walked into what I assumed was his room and I glanced around surprised. It was practically empty. There was a bed sat in the middle of the room, but it didn't look like it had been used. There were no books, CDs, nothing personal. I didn't comment on it, just walked over and sat on the bed.

He followed me and sat down next to me.

His presence was intoxicating, and I struggled against the urge to crawl over and straddle his lap. He gave me an intense look, before scooting across the bed to give us more space. I felt a pang of rejection and looked down dejectedly, but he cupped my cheek with his hand and lifted my head up.

"It's not what you think Bella, I just can't think when I'm that close to you, and I really want to talk." He said, his dark eyes burning into mine.

"You're thirsty." I stated.

He shrugged.

"A little. But I'm fine."

"Isn't it hard being this close to me then?" I asked.

He smirked, "Yes, but not for that reason."

I frowned.

"Bella, let me start by saying, I'm truly sorry for leaving. I'm sorry I left you, I'm sorry for how I left you. And I'm sorry that I didn't come back for you." He pushed his hand through his hair, making it stick up even more than usual.

I sighed and nodded. He twisted his mouth to the side,

"When I left…I felt like I'd ripped a hole through my body. I no longer felt anything but pain. You don't know this Bella, but as a vampire, every human emotion is heightened a thousand-fold." He paused. "I spent the first few years chasing Victoria in South America. She kept slipping through my grasp." He looked at me intently, "You have to understand, I never dreamed that she'd come for _you_! I thought her problem was with me, so when I lost her…I gave up. I didn't even _move_ Bella. I just sat there, like a statue. I was so starved that I-" His voice cracked, "I almost bit someone. It was very close. I didn't expect people to walk through that part of the rainforest and I hadn't eaten in _weeks_. I managed to take down a Caribou instead, but if I'd hurt someone…at that moment I loathed myself. I wandered around, and thoughts of you consumed every moment. I was desperate to come back to you. I almost did it once, you know." He looked at me wistfully, "But then I remembered my promise to you, and how much I wanted you to live a human life and be happy. So I stayed away. About a year ago, Esme and Carlisle confronted me. They said they missed me, and that they needed me to come home. I did, but truthfully Bella, I haven't had a moment of happiness since I last saw you. Every day has been dark and filled with emptiness. And then…" He smiled, "I walked into that lecture hall, and there you were. So beautiful, and you'd done so well for yourself. I felt my heart swell with pride, and then it shattered in a million pieces when you looked at me. The pain in your expression Bella…" his hand gripped his hair. "I felt like my heart had started beating again, just being around you. I told myself I would leave after the class, that I would walk away from you. But I just_ couldn't _do it. Now that I know how life is without you, I'm far too selfish to leave you again. If you tell me that you don't love me, and that you don't want me, then I will walk away. But only then Bella, because I know now that I can't live without you." He finished and looked at me intently.

I didn't know what to say.

"I love you Bella. I love you so much. What you asked in the car, about me being different with you, it's because I look back on my time with you, and I regret every moment that I didn't kiss you," His voice deepened, "I know you've been with other men since me." I sighed, "All I can think is that all those firsts with you, should have been mine. I was too afraid to be with you. All those times I could have touched you, and I didn't. It kills me knowing that even if you take me back I'm not going to be the first one to touch you. But that's on me." He paused, looking at me intently, "Bella I made so many mistakes, I don't want to be your conscience or tell you what to do, I'll always protect you from harm, but not the way I used to, not by omitting things or forcing you to do things. All I want is to be with you. If you want to become like me, then I'll do it. It's selfish I know, but I can't refuse forever with you, when I want it so desperately. When Jake showed me what my leaving did to you -" He grabbed my hand and looked at me anguished, 'I don't know if you can ever forgive me for what I did, but I am truly sorry. And know, that our parting affected me just as badly."

I found myself crying and Edward leaned towards me wiping my tears away with his fingers,

"Please don't cry Bella." He breathed, his cool breath washing over my face, and carrying with it his sweet smell.

My breathing hitched. He was so close to me. It all hit me then in one big burst of emotion. He loved me. I felt a desperation rising inside me for him to show me, to prove it to me. I launched myself at him, crashing my lips to his. I half expected him to kiss me gently, a chaste kiss, like I'd received in the past but instead he responded to my kiss fiercely, moving his cool lips against mine. I moaned loudly and shifted towards him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He tasted like heaven.

He ran his icy tongue across my lower lip, and I gasped into his mouth, moving forward so I could straddle his lap. His tongue pushed into my mouth and I moaned loudly as it caressed against mine. He pulled me towards him and I straddled his hips, threading my fingers into his hair.

The feeling of Edward's tongue in my mouth was indescribable.

I flicked my tongue against his and his hands ran down my sides, skimming over my breasts. I ground my hips into his searching for relief from the tension that assailed me. He groaned low in his throat, gripping my waist. He pulled back then, and we stared at each other breathing heavily.

"Bella, I need to know. Do you still love me? Can you forgive me?"

He looked at me expectantly, his golden eyes wide.

"I love you Edward, I never stopped loving you." I said, feeling my eyes well up again. He kissed away my tears. "And I can forgive you, but it's going to take me time, can you give me that?"

He nodded, and flashed me a brilliant smile, "I'll spend forever trying to earn your forgiveness Bella."

He bent in and kissed me gently, but it quickly progressed into something much fiercer and hotter. I bit his lip gently and he gasped.

Note to self, Edward likes biting.

I shifted in his lap and we both moaned when I felt his erection press into me.

"Edward." I said breathlessly.

"Yeah." He replied; his eyes dark.

"I love you, and part of me wants this to be slow but I- I need"

He ran his knuckles up my side and then brushed over my nipple with his thumb. I moaned. I looked at him through eyes hooded by lust.

"What do you need Bella?" He said throatily. "Do you need me to fuck you?" I moaned.

_Fuck._ That was so hot.

I crashed my lips to his, moaning loudly when he tangled his fingers in my hair.

"Mmm I love it when you say fuck." I told him, between kisses.

"You're gonna love it even more when I'm fucking you." He said naughtily, kissing down my neck. I gasped at his words. He was so much dirtier than I would have ever imagined. He must have held back so much.

"You look so good." He groaned as he pulled my vest top off. "In the car yesterday, when you were imagining us together and I could smell how wet you were…fuck Bella, I wanted to…'

"What?" I said moaning at his words.

"I wanted to bury my head between your legs until you screamed my name." He whispered into my ear.

His words went straight to my core and I whimpered, gripping his hair fiercely as I kissed him.

"Edward." I panted, "Touch me." He moaned, kissing down my neck. He left wet open-mouthed kisses in a trail as he licked and sucked his way down to my bra. He cupped my breasts in his hands, kissing across my peaks. He rubbed against my nipple that was protruding from the lace with his thumb.

"You're so beautiful." He said throatily and I cried out when his icy mouth wrapped around my nipple through the thin material of my bra.

"Edward, fuck." I moaned, arching my back and pressing my tits into his face. He reached his hands to my back and undid my bra, letting my breasts fall free.

He growled, "Ungh Bella." Then his mouth was all over me, his cold tongue flicking against my nipples. Every stroke of his tongue sent shockwaves of pleasure through my body and I started grinding my hips into his lap. Every time I moved, his erection rubbed against my clit, making me moan. There were too many layers between us, and I growled frustrated. I pulled his shirt off him aggressively, almost ripping it as I tore it over his head.

I pushed him back onto the bed lightly, knowing I couldn't make him move an inch without his compliance. He let me, moaning as I placed wet, hot kisses on his chest and stomach.

My whole body felt like it was burning, and I wanted his hands all over me. I ground down onto him hard and the sensation sent a ripple of pleasure through my body.

"Edward." I panted. His eyes shot to mine, dark with lust and my hands scrabbled at his belt, trying to undo it. His hands replaced mine and together we removed it from his body. I undid his jeans and I ran my hands down his toned stomach, playing with the V between his hips.

Fuck he was so beautiful.

I wanted to lick the V, so I did. He groaned at my touch. I pulled his jeans down, kissing and nibbling at his hips. He bucked his hips towards me slightly. I gulped as I appraised the thick bulge in his black boxers.

He was so big. And so hard for me.

He smirked at me and I fell onto his body, attacking his lips with my own. He flipped us over so quickly I almost didn't notice. I cried out as his tongue flicked against mine a little, before he pulled back and started kissing down my neck. I writhed underneath him as he sucked my nipples into his mouth, before continuing his kisses down my body.

I threw back my head in pleasure when I felt his cool breath against my stomach. His hands deftly undid my jeans and he pulled them off me with ease. He sat on his knees, in between my legs and growled as he looked down on my tiny midnight blue, lacy thong. I sat up on my elbows, looking down at him and he ran his hand down the valley between my breasts, flattening against my stomach as he moved it down. I bucked my hips into his hand as he cupped my mound.

"Mmm you smell so good." Edward groaned, rubbing his thumb against my clit. I rubbed myself against his hand fiercely, seeking relief for the tension I felt between my legs. He kissed the inside of my thighs and I shivered as he pulled against my thong with his teeth. I whimpered when he closed his cool mouth over my clit through the thin material of my thong.

With a moan he tore it off me. I moaned at the action, arching my back and pushing my hips towards his face. He chuckled darkly.

"Oh fuck." He groaned, running his finger through my slick folds. "Jesus Bella your so fucking wet." I threw my head back in pleasure.

"Mmm." Edward moaned, sliding one of his long fingers inside of me. The cool sensation against my heated centre made me cry out.

"More." I pleaded, bucking my hips against his finger. He looked at me darkly, biting his lip slightly as he added another finger. He swallowed my cries with his lips, tangling his tongue with mine. He pulled back and brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking them gently.

"Oh fuck." I moaned, my eyes rolling back into my head as he moaned lowly. I barely had time to breathe before his mouth descended on me.

"Oh my fucking god." I gasped, my hands grabbing at his hair. He flicked his tongue against my clit, sending sparks of pleasure through my body. I bucked my hips up to him as he alternated between long licks up my folds and flicking his tongue against my sensitive nub. Edward added his fingers back inside me then, and I barely lasted two minutes before I was screaming, my thighs clenching around his head as I had the most intense orgasm of my life. He pulled back licking his lips. I moaned low in my throat and grabbed his hair violently, pulling him down on top of me and biting and sucking at his lips, knowing I couldn't hurt him. He groaned loudly, kissing me back, fiercely but gently, careful to keep me away from his teeth. My hands reached around his back and pulled at his boxers. I tried to flip us over and he got the hint and rolled onto his back, pulling me on top of him. I straddled his stomach and wriggled my way backwards until I was sitting across his thighs, I pulled his boxers down further and licked my lips.

His cock jutted out towards me, it was thick and long, and some pre-cum glistened at the tip. I moaned, bending my head down and flicking my tongue over it.

"Oh FUCK." Edward cried, his hands twisting into the sheets next to him. I took him into my mouth then, using my tongue and teeth to lick, suck and bite around him gently.

"Oh yeah." He moaned appreciatively, watching himself disappear in and out of my mouth. One of my hands stroked his cock at the same time, whilst the other tugged at his balls.

"Bella, if you don't stop that I'm going to come." He groaned at me. I moved my mouth off him with a pop, and crawled my way forward, hovering over him.

He pulled my lips to his gently, as I aligned our bodies together. I pulled back and stared into his eyes as I slowly sunk down onto him.

"Oh." I said gasping at the sensation of him stretching me and filling me.

"Fuck." Edward gasped. For a moment I couldn't see anything except stars I was so lost in how good he felt inside of me. When he was all the way in, we both moaned.

"Bella…you feel so fucking good." Edward panted, his hands coming to grip my hips.

"Ed-ward." I moaned, overcome by the feeling of him inside me.

I stayed there a moment and we stared at each other.

"I love you." He said, his eyes burning into mine.

"I love you too." I replied, cupping his cheek with my hand.

I shifted on top of him, and we both gasped.

"Oh fuuuck." Edward gasped throwing his head back.

"Mmmm." I replied, rolling my eyes back into my head as the movement sent a jolt of pleasure through me.

"Ugh." Edward moaned, rolling his hips against me. His hands still holding my hips, he lifted me up off him slightly, and then dropped me back down.

"Ed-ward." I cried out. He did it again, and this time I moved with him, lifting myself up and then slamming back down.

"Mmm fuck." Edward said, moving me faster.

"God Edward, you feel so fucking good." I gasped, my tits bouncing as he rocked his hips up into me in time with when I dropped myself down onto him.

Edward growled, his hands coming up to play with my breasts, pinching my nipples slightly. I threw back my head with pleasure. Nobody had ever made me feel like this before. I could already feel myself climbing towards a climax. I felt my walls clench around him as a spasm rocked through my body. He groaned loudly and suddenly sat up, pushing his chest against mine. The change in angle meant he was suddenly hitting a spot inside of me that felt fucking incredible. I screamed his name and gripped his shoulders, moving myself up and down, my head thrown back in pleasure. I cried out when his mouth descended on my breasts licking and sucking as they bounced in his face.

He flipped us then, and fell between my legs gently, his hands outstretched either side of my head. He captured my lips in a slow, deep kiss, making my body burn with desire for him. His pace was slow, and deep, and his eyes stared into mine, dark and filled with pleasure. I threw back my head and screamed his name as my climax hit, my whole-body shuddering around him for what felt like minutes.

"Mmm." Edward moaned, picking up the pace and starting to pound into me. I cried out, gripping his shoulders as he fucked me relentlessly. If he'd been human, I would have torn his back to shreds with my nails. He liked the sensation however and sucked on my neck gently as he slammed into me. I quickly felt myself building into another orgasm. He groaned loudly and I guessed he was close too. I felt myself spasming around him and he growled, throwing his head back in pleasure. "Oh fuck Bella." He cried out and his pace increased to a frantic level. I screamed as I hit my peak, feeling him release inside of me.

I rolled off of him, gasping for breath and he turned to me and smiled widely.

"Wow." I said, returning his smile.

"You were amazing." He kissed my shoulder, and then wrapped me in his arms.

As I lay on his cold chest I knew, that even though it might take time for me to forgive him for how he left, Edward loved me, and I loved him. And we'd have our forever together.

_The End._

**A/N**

**Hope you enjoyed this short story! It ended up being far longer than I had intended but the characters went off and did their own thing. What can you do!**

**Leave a review if you enjoyed! If you loved it and would want to read more, let me know. If I get enough requests I many continue the oneshot into a story.**

**Xo Creaatingmadness**


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